Have yourself a Merry little Christmas

You know how the heat from a fire burns your legs when you stand close to it and you have to turn around to warm the other side. Well, that's the feeling from the sun out here in Dubbo only the other side of me is also very hot! It's gorgeous summer weather but feels absolutely nothing like Christmas. Very bizarre to see decorations and santas and prezies and to think it'll be January soon. My world is very upside down and backwards! It's an amazing challenge to my sense of control of reality. (Which I don't ever really have of course. Amazing to have that realization hanging in my face so I have to truly accept it!)

I've spent the last week since my road trip ended back at the cafe with my beautiful friends. I'm learning how to be humble and not so over-confident about things. It's a wonderful feeling to be in an environment where I don't have to have all the answers and where I can be supported in learning and growth. I hope this is something I can remember and bring into my teaching, so children feel safe to experience a learning process with the guidance of someone they trust. Truly feeling the opportunities to try, relishing in the process of mistakes and learning. This community is so focused on loving relationships and living from the heart that the environment created really allows for that in being supportive, understanding, forgiving and humble. But most people out in the world are not that way..unfortunately. It's been fascinating because this experience allows me to learn how to trust others and be vulnerable in my relationships to create stronger heart connections. I somehow sense that if I take these ways out in the real world I would be run over! I know though, that as I learn to let down my walls and open my heart to let people in, I am gaining such valuable tools for having stronger relationships with people I should come to trust and love unconditionally. It is wonderful to allow myself to be so raw and real as I really come to listen to my heart.

I also feel I'm growing a lot spiritually. I've found myself feeling much more grounded though my writing and meditation. It's beautiful to know I don't need to have such big expectations for myself but can allow myself the time to learn and grow through my own process of discovery and practice. I was meant to do a retreat in January, but because of Australia's LAME Internet, there was some miscommunication and I won't be attending. It wasn't meant to be I suppose. That's been a wonderful mantra to come back to, Que Sera, Sera. Purely allowing what will happen to be as it is and having acceptance for it. It's amazingly comforting to understand that I don't need to be in control.

Harry picked me up from the house in Katoomba the other day while the sisters and I were enjoying a quiet sabbath lunch inside. The rest of the community had taken the children out for a walk. We were all excited about getting ready for Woodford next week! Good to say goodbye and know I'll see them all again soon! The drive out to the farm was hot and sticky! The further we drove the hotter it became. We stopped along the way to buy some cherries -just to find out no one in the Elder family even likes cherries!! I'm slowly getting through them but they're so ripe it's urgent! Maybe I'll dry them! We've been doing lots of dehydrating with fruit from the farm. I picked two buckets of apricots from their tree, after doing quite the dance with the fruit fly net. While I was harvesting I heard and then spotted a very fat blue tongue dragging himself along after a feast on apricots, I'm sure, trying to find the way out of the fence. He was cute but I kept my distance. He flicked his tongue ferociously at me even though he's harmless. I had to stop picking because I was too hot but there were lots left on the tree. It's such a good crop this year compared with the twelve pieces of fruit they rescued last year from the bugs. We've been snacking on fresh and dried apricots and Kerry made a pie for Christmas lunch!

Jon took me for a little drive around the farm when he went to turn on his irrigation pumps to water the cotton. It's so strange to see field of stunningly green cotton plants covering the paddocks instead of the dry brown and white I knew from before! Many things about the farm are quite different in the summer actually and it's a fun contrast to experience! Jon had to drive another vehicle back and he let me drive the ute. He was impressed that I'd been driving on the highway in other people's manual cars all over Australia! He's a good teacher, apparently. When Jock heard I was driving he climbed down from the bed of the ute and hopped into the cab with a seatbelt, just to be safe. The ride was quite smooth thank you very much. On the way around one bend there was a gorgeous black snake. He didn't seem at all intimidated by the giant machine rolling his way. Most of the animals out here seem pretty tame. It's like they have a personal wildlife safari! Even Rupee, the joey Jon and Karin raised, still seems quite friendly. He looks like the teenager he is, long and lanky, growing into his beautiful adult face. It was sweet to see Karin go up and hold his little paws and scratch his neck as he stood there calmly in front of her.

The wildlife out on the farm is truly amazing. It's so humbling to be in such a big space shared with so many other creatures as well as being surrounded by gorgeous landscape! We went out searching with the binoculars in Karin's car for the brolgas, which are stork-like birds with red heads. There were plenty of birds around but before we found the ones we were searching for the car got bogged in the mud! Karin had to walk back in the ridiculous heat to get Jon to come tow us out. Jock, Harry and I wandered around the paddock and irrigation ditches looking at creatures like carp. Apparently Jock and Jon found the birds later on but the camera battery was flat- sure it was...

Jon has two beehives he cares for, one here and one on his up and coming farm down the road. They were choc-a-block full of honey (do we say choc-full in the states? I'm getting confused.) Jock (who wore socks on his hands because Jon forgot the harvesting gloves from his bee suit) gave me a piece of honeycomb off the top that was just dripping with oozy honey and I nearly choked because it was so thick and sweet! Amazing critters, those bees. On Christmas Eve morning Jon let me help strain and jar the honey they'd collected. Then we had a honey taste testing with the 3 honeys from their latest harvests, a honey from a friend's harvest and a commercial honey. Jon's honeys won by far and it was fascinating to taste all the different ones; thick and creamy, fruity, candied and chewy and one that tasted "just the way honey should," as Jock and I agreed. It's beautiful to see the bees at work as well, their little legs carrying sacks of pollen. I've walked past a couple trees on the property and am absolutely amazed at the incredible sound of buzzing that vibrates through the air! Yay for bees and their.. vomit!

Kerry makes beautiful chai lattes and she and I have enjoyed a couple in cooler parts of the days. On Christmas Eve we had an amazing thunder storm and even though the lightening scares Kerry she sat outside in the back with me. Her garden is gorgeously green and full of bees, butterflies and beetles busy at work. I was in heaven enjoying the smell of the damp earth, the cool, heavy raindrops falling on my hot skin, and immense booming thundering overhead! Bliss. There have been a couple amazing thunderstorms out here, but mostly it's been ridiculously hot. At Christmas lunch everyone was in shorts and so very cas. as Australia is. It's so, so, so bizarre to have it be so hot and un-Christmassy while my family is back home in snow storms. It was fun to Skype with them wearing their winter hats enjoying each others company in the cozy living room, complete with Christmas decor. I enjoyed decorating Kerry and Rock's tree but it was strange to be putting up someone else's ornaments. Despite all things strange, Christmas was so lovely. The tree was happy, I decorated the table with Aussie flora, everyone contributed a dish and we enjoyed endless conversation at the table after stuffing ourselves with yummy Christmas lunch and dessert. It was lovely to sit and chat about things like world history and fun but naughty childhood memories, children's books and favorite teachers, farm life and the wonderful food. Amazing how the holiday has a childlike essence to it. Kerry got a new bike (which was presented as a wrapped bike seat-unrecognizable to her) and she became like a child riding off on it calling, "I'll be home (to cook) dinner!" Then, "c'mon Harry!" the two of them heading off, so cute. Oh to be four again.

I felt most childlike, small and full of excitement about the world in the evenings with Jock and his telescope! It's unbelievably exciting to think about the vastness of the universe. The sun, an average star, being 4 light minutes away and all the other stars being Hundreds(!) of light YEARS away! We looked at the moon and Jupiter and lots of constellations, nebulas and star clusters. It's super fun to find things in the telescope you know are out there but can't be seen with the naked eye! The weather was being quite fickle but we did get one really clear, though extremely bright (as the moon is nearly full) night and stayed out til 11 star gazing. The first night we went out not only were there awesome stars to look at, the sunset was glorious and there was a lightening storm on the opposite horizon! Big sky country is truly an incredible place to experience the weather, the nature of the earth and the universe! My only complaint is the mossies! I can't describe appropriately how maddening the bites are as they heal!!! Waking up at 4am in a scratching frenzy and wishing to be in a straight-jacket is no fun thing. Apparently there are many cures for the itching..I'd rather be immune!!

Today is boxing day and everyone is relaxing at home. There hasn't been much boxing up of things, mostly just eating left overs! We did fill another two buckets with apricots from the tree and plan to start drying them later on. Right now I'm making a cherry and apple roll up and resting in the sunshiney lounge room. I've finished my knitting project and might go out and take pictures a bit later on. We'll go have dinner with some friends and then I leave tomorrow for Woodford! The adventure continues! I hope everyone had a very happy holiday!
Cheers!



6 white boomers..popular Aussie Christmas song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FdVXca9hys&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Everybody is just a stranger but that's the danger of going my own way...

I'm flying back to Sydney now, high above Tasmania's gorgeous rolling hills. As we flew into and over the clouds, it was quite humbling to see the tiny shadow of this huge aircraft silloutted on the white of the clouds beside us, a rainbow reflection of light encircling it. I'm so glad I got to visit this beautiful place and I certainly have wonderful memories to remember it by. And a few pictures as well. It was interesting to me how weather dependent my interest has been recently. I'm really enjoying the blue skies most of all. Even though in my heart it's supposed to be winter time!

I think I left off after the fantastically preserved hundred year old Queenstown where we just popped in and out of briefly while Mark hoped to find a pub playing "the cricket" (game) and I wandered up and down main street...all three blocks of it. A man in one of the shops hooked me up with the radio station broadcasting the game because no one could be bothered to have the paid tv channels. Mark was satisfied with that (until it got too static-y to understand driving up and over Mt. Owen behind town) and I felt comforted by the sound of the announcers. I had absolutely no clue what they were talking about but it sounded just like one of dad's baseball games that he would play while working in the garage or garden with Marirose and I beneath his feet, "helping."

On the way to the next town we passed a campground and Mark said, "Let's go and have a sticky beak, hey?" So we drove in for a look around but decided to continue on. There have been several people I've met and stayed with who have strong Aussie accents and use a lot of colloquial terms. I read off a list of ridiculous sounding phrases (such as the one above) to Mark and he explained them for me. One time he made me laugh so hard as I got back into the car after being out on a "bush walk" (he generally stayed behind) and I found a little leach on my pant leg. And he goes, "get outta the car! You're covered in bush shit!" Being a construction worker, complete with the typical t-shirt and smoke hanging out of his mouth, his language was often quite abrasive. But as with my previous experience spending multiple days in the car with people, true colors shine brightest after the initial warming up period and though he could be quite harsh with his words, he was just a big softie! Incredibly generous too for which I was absolutely grateful! He may not have realized that sometimes he was too generous for his own good! The next town we stopped in, Derwent Bridge, had a beautiful pub and he shouted my dinner! It was wonderful to enjoy a hot, delicious meal after camp food for a week. That night we drove to camp at Lake St. Claire.

We meant to stay in the bunk houses because it was so cold but no one was around at the camp host site. I ended up staying at the fire pit for as long as I could keep my eyes open to keep warm. It was a communal spot and that night I introduce s'mores to Mark and an Austrian couple. They all loved them!! The ingredients I found at the teeny tiny "supermarket" were a bit funny to me but it was the same idea.

After a chilly sleep I got up early to do some laundry and found myself melted onto a large, flat boulder in the morning sunshine beside the lake. I enjoyed sitting in the silence of a morning in which I don't need my ears for voices, the only sounds being the nature all around me. While the water was glorious, I was even more amazed by the stunning beauty of the gum trees. My enamoration grew even more once we got to Bruny Island. These trees are gorgeously simple in their form, exuding natural beauty. They look hearty and pure, the only slightly weather worn evidence was the stringy bark beneath certain species. Their smooth, pale brown and grey limbs reach to the pure blue sky with absolute strength. They seem soft and safe like the body of a very toned body. I felt like I could cuddle up to one and all my worries would wash away.

I could have been a passenger on the roads along Bruny Island's countryside forever. When we took our car across on the ferry I had to play 'I'm on a Boat' for Mark! But the music soon dissipated into the background as my senses were captivated by the beauty of the island. The lush green forest landscape gave way to deep rolling hills and then tumbled down to the waves of the ocean. The roads were extremely windy and unsettling at times but the scenery made up for it. The island could be crossed in an hour but we stopped at many little places along the way. The Berry Farm was a yummy treat and offered a stunning view of Adventure Bay over the summer grass and occasional tree. Behind it were the farm's berry picking paddocks where you can pick your own and bring them inside to top with ice cream! I had pepper berry! It was unsuspectingly spicy, I mean, it was ice cream after all!

We camped on the beach with a couple German girls and another Aussie guy (who also enjoyed my s'mores!) and had fun with them. Matt knew a spot where you could watch the penguins return to their nests from the ocean so we all went down to see it. I walked along the beach collecting shells and arrived as it began to get dark...at about 10! The fairy penguins were so darn cute! A couple chicks came wandering out of their holes just as a large (flock?) of tiny penguins waddled their way out of the waves and across the sandy beach up to the dunes. Their calls and chatter were so cute and fascinating to listen to. We watched them try and settle for a couple hours. Apparently they only sleep for about 4 minutes at a time. It was a wonderful experience. The look out above where they roost is 240 steps high! But we watched from behind a deck on the beach front with walls and look out windows for peeking without scaring the little things.

The sunrise the next morning, at 4 am invited me to go for another walk once again enjoying the silence of the morning. I found a "love heart" rock on the southern beaches later that day that was probably 5 kilos and the size of a basketball but flat. I was very impressed! Some of you already know I tend to find them (hearts in nature) everywhere but this one was exceptionally beautiful and well shaped. I recon it found me. I decided to leave it on the front porch at Rich and Rosie's in gratitude for hosting me while I stayed in Hobart.

They were wonderful arms to fall into. Caleb from the cafe gave me their number and it was a blessing to stay with them. Other than finding my new favorite book of all time, I found many other gifts in my experience there: friendship, support, foundational blocks for spiritual searching, opportunities for cultural understanding, safety, comfort and most importantly, love. We had some amazing conversations and it seemed I was definitely meant to meet them both and experience their kindness. Their guidance will carry me into the next chapter of my journey. My trip to Tasmania was completely unpredictable in so many ways and absolutely gorgeous in the connections, conversations, experiences and full of generosity and kindness from friends. And the trip wouldn't have been complete without my trip to the extremely provocative Mona. That was certainly an experience... My favorite part may have been the amazing lunch I had!

The end of my trip was blessed with the grace of a phone call to a very good friend back home. It was incredible to connect and be reminded of the love and beauty of lasting friendship. There's nothing stronger than the open heart of a friend and I feel so humbled in being able to experience the life of someone I care about. Sometimes we need a reminder that we're in this for each other and we can never really be alone if we recognize the love around us. I'm so grateful for the friends I have back home and the friends I've made here. Especially the beautiful and spontaneous friends who pop in and out again for a glimpse of the love that shines through each of us to each other. Mali on Bruny island was one of these gorgeous people. And there have been many others. Life is a fillet of fish!..Life's a happy song when there's someone by my side to sing along! -The Muppet Movie.

I still haven't found what I'm lookin for

It does not matter who, where, what or when, it only matters how. How is most important. How is when we listen to the essence of our Selves and hear what we know is right. How is making the right decision when it's hard. How is being willing to give one hundred percent of ourselves to what we do. Complete presence. This of course means we can't agree to do more than one thing at any one time. Unless there were two of us!

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I spent a couple days in Melbourne with new friends before a 6am flight on Sunday. I found I really enjoyed Melbourne the second time around. I saw the cool singing bridge Ben and I discovered the first time I visited the city. I met Freeman at Melbourne's Luna Park by tram and we spent the afternoon deep in wonderful discussions of life at a friend's house and at the beach where we tossed the disc around. We made an amazing dinner based on a recipe Natalie gave me and enjoyed an incredible lightening storm from the dock of the beach. The following day after exploring the botanical gardens I met up with a new friend (my friend Andrea, who I know from Ashland, has a friend, Marisa, from Houston who is also traveling in Oz, just happened to be in Melbourne at the same time as me!) and we had dinner and gelato and did some people watching in St. Kilda. It was a wonderful connection and I just love how beautifully it wrapped up a wonderful weekend. I even got to Skype with Mimi and Papa when Papa somehow figured out how to use it after uncle Steven downloaded it on their computer again! It was really good to see them.

Flying into Hobart after very little sleep from the past couple nights and with such a very early flight I couldn't comprehend doing much else but sleep. As the plane began its decent we went from flying above a heaven of endless fluffy white clouds to suddenly being above the city of Hobart. I'm guessing many of the other passengers were also seeing Hobart for the first time because it seemed as though everyone had their forehead pressed against the plane's tiny windows. As I walked into the cool air of the morning looking for Richard's car I was reminded of searching for Jon, a man we'd never met, at the Dubbo airport when we first flew out to the farm and I just somehow knew it was him right away.

I recognized Richard from the description of his car and he and Angel, a friend, drove me through town to their house where I promptly gave into my delirium and slept as Richard headed off to give his sermon. I explored their bookshelf after waking up and found a beautiful book called Mister God, This is Anna, and immediately became absorbed in it as I swallowed every little detail this sweet five year old was explaining to me about the ways of life. When Richard got home from church he and I had a chat that eneded up lasting all day!

In the morning Rosie took me to the library where I caught up on a few things while waiting I meet Mark. I wasn't positive it was going to be a good connection and was relieved when we did meet and it was. It was interesting to travel with him (he works in the mines and had just won a few thousand dollars in a pokie machine) because he had no reservations with spending money while I'm on a pretty tight budget. He's been very generous though and I give back and share in what ways I can.

We've met some cool people along the way that I wouldn't have met on my own as I've been feeling pretty introverted lately. We spent a very cold evening with a German girl and Aussie girl chatting about nearly everything from education to politics and travel. We were camping and they had a cabin and offered me their extra bed because it was somewhere between 0-4 degrees outside! As long as I didn't snore or mind sleeping "upstairs," I was welcome, finding myself extremely grateful for the comfort of a warm bunk that night. We were all staying at a pub in Weldborough that offered all of Tasmania's beers and ciders and wonderful meals. Mark attempted to get through most of them, good thing we were staying the night. I spent the afternoon writing postcards in the sunshine and while I waited for my rice to (never) cook, the kitchen was closing so Mark brought me the ginger cake and ice cream with caramel sauce that I'd had my eye on and I decided that life's short and ate my dessert first! It was amazingly delicious. I had to laugh when Mark said "I know you want to lick the bowl, I'll turn around!" Awesome.

We weren't in any rush to leave the camp spot in the morning because it was so gorgeous there and such a beautiful sunny day. I had a lovely chat with a family on holidays with their 3 sons. They were keeping an awesome scrap book with the children's drawings and notes of their adventures with the cover from the book Are We There Yet, an Australian story of a family on a road trip, fittingly. Eventually Mark and I hopped back in the car (after giving it a jump from charging Mark's refrigerator but not running) and we went along down the country road.

I've been amazed at how quickly the scenery has changed from one moment to the next during our drives. We spent the first two days on the east coast and the sky couldn't decide whether it wanted to douse the land or scorch it. We would drive through amazing thunderstorms for ten minutes followed by gorgeously blue skies and 28 degree weather. Tasmania is a fascinating place. The eastern beaches are unbelievable! Our first stop was friendly beach and if it hadn't been for a sense of exposure to the elements, we would have camped there sun baking on the rocks overlooking a stunningly clear, blue ocean. It seemed tropical without being too hot or humid. It was perfect. It was the first of many more times I would hear Mark claim it to be a good place to build a house. Apparently he's looking. Instead we stayed at the next beach up on our way to The Bay of Fires and at 7pm another storm hit and we both retired for the evening, with no where else to spend time but in our "beds." I found I slept pretty well alongside the fridge in the backseat of the outback.

I hiked Mt. Amos the next day until I got nearly to the top and it was too slippery to scale solo mission so I slid back down! That part was all the more fun anyway! The views from the top of the second hike to wine glass bay were stunning but the bush itself was so dry and dull. There are many theories about the title given to the bay but I would agree that the water is crystal clear like a wine glass. I had a little snooze beside the waves and woke up to a tour group of Australian teenagers on holiday screaming and yelling to each other across the beach. Just before I had my shoes on to hike back, a pod of at least ten dolphins danced playfully through the waters really close to the rocks! I've never seen dolphins in the wild, only in marine parks where they're required to jump up and touch suspended balls in the sky. This was quite a treat for me to see, so magical and free and extremely playful and happy.

Our next stop was stunning Cradle Mountain and the weather was unusually clear (according to Mark) and the water and view of the peak were unbelievably beautiful. The brilliant blue of the sky contrasting with every shade of green and grey on the land an the brilliant white snow. There were strange patches of red and orange on rocks and in bushes like button grass and bush pines. I love gum trees, they're so beautifully smooth like naked limbs reaching into the sky. I saw occasional spring wild flowers as well as red leaves of autumn. It's very confused here! Because it was so cold we decided to camp in the cabins and spent the evening chatting with a few Canadian girls celebrating their graduation from university. We all crashed early to be refreshed for the hike.

The skies slowly warmed up through the morning with a bit of cloud cover so we didn't melt! The hike up Cradle starts by walking around and up towards Crater Lake (I'm still partial to Oregon's) and over the hills to view an amazing landscape of trees, lakes and waterfalls. We connected with a couple from America and ended up spending the rest of the day with them and their pet Dino Roarnaldo! They proved to be wonderful companions especially when Mark decided he'd sit out the summit trek and I had Ashley and Justin to climb with. There was a whole lot of steep boulder scrambling, hopping and climbing as we went further up. Justin has a fear of heights but did really well mastering the mountain. It was an amazing confidence building experience and completely exhilarating to have absolute trust in the strength of my body and the sturdy rocks on which each step up was determined. Feeling the solid engagement of muscles as my legs pushed and arms pulled me up onto massive thousand year old boulders, I felt amazing confidence and strength radiate through my being. I wasn't sure if I could be concerned when there were people around me feeling incredibly apprehensive, some turning back, while I may as well have been dancing up the cliff face. I mean, physically it was definitely a struggle, but mentally I felt peaceful control. Not once did I look down thinking, woah! Only appreciation for the beauty of the nature I was immersed in.

The way down was certainly more difficult as I was no longer scaling up like Spider Man but negotiating with gravity and my sore muscles to find the right spot to place all my weight safely. Justin had me channel my inner Tom Cruise of Mission Impossible. Our mission at one point seemed quite impossible when Mark led the three of us "the quick way around the lake." We took the Face Track which I decided meant cliff "face" as we were really bush bashing our way through a rugged trail heading up the mountain again and not feeling positive it would meet up with the lakeside track we could see which was seemingly further and further below us. We all felt extremely relieved when it did only to discover we literally had to hold a heavy chain and lower ourselves slowly down the track backwards. The other compilation was that the rubber bottom sole of my shoes was basically hanging by the threads and attempting to trip me with every step. Once we got to basically flat ground I decided to run the rest of the track but stopped beneath a gorgeous gum beside a boat docking house and waited for the others. It was an amazing day and the exhaustion felt wonderful!

Our next camp spot was in a "town" with a pub and ferry crossing and accommodation...and that's it! Sitting beneath the covering under the rain with the fire going we saw little rat kangaroo things (paddy melon? Oh: pademelon) come out of the bush. The one that hung around most had a little Joey in her pouch and it was too cute! She was quite frightened by the umbrella on the ground being caught up in the wind though! I think my favorite Aussie animal is an echidna. The penguins at adventure bay were certainly adorable though!!

While we were having dinner next to the Pieman River in Corinna Mark was telling me about his allergy to egg. "The worst thing that happens, he said casually is when someone cracks an egg on my head and it gets in my eye or mouth, then I'd need to go to the hospital." "Why!?" I wondered, "would that happen!?" "You know, at school there's always egg fights," again, quite matter of factly. "No." I replied. "There are not always egg fights at school." "At the end of the year?" "No," I laughed. "Ah, we always had egg fights at school. They had to get an epi pen for me." He then demonstrated how someone might crack an egg on my head by holding it at the crown and smacking it down with a flat hand.

Our road trip definitely had our peaceful quiet car moments when the stupid stereo decided to stop playing the music on our phones and the only radio available was more boring than silence. At one point I was reminded that at the end of our road trip on the west coast the boys and I were all tired of the music on our collective iPods. We were driving through the city looking for a car wash and I just started singing quietly and John said this is better than the iPods, we should have done this before! When we were playing music, it was mostly Mark's because my iPod wouldn't stay charged and I found that I really enjoyed his hard rock. I had fun pretending to play drums, keeping several rhythms with my feet and invisible drumsticks.

Driving across Tasmania's "wild west" we slipped in and out of several small towns, Waratah with gorgeous Mt. Bischoff Falls in the center of it, Corinna, Strahan, and the "capital of the west," Queenstown. I couldn't imagine that any of these towns could be home to more than 20 people, especially Waratah! There could have only been about 13 residents! I was fascinated by how old the buildings were and the mirrored lifestyle with people actually maintaining a lifestyle there. It should have been a movie. The old hotel in Queenstown was amazingly old fashioned and beautifully appealing. Every town had its little pub and tiny "grocery store" with the absolute basics. Fascinating to be in such a deserted place that's actually functioning!

This is too long.. I will publish the rest soon!

Somebody that I used to know.

Living Someone Else's Life

I know I’m not dreaming anymore when I hear the freight train rumble past. I don’t open my eyes right away while I consider where I am now. Sunken into a deep set of lounge cushions, wrapped in my fleece, I breathe in the scent of an unfamiliar pillow case. I’m worn out from traveling in someone else’s car, looking out someone else’s window at someone else’s town. I’ve passed by offices, shops and parks that someone else visits regularly. My toes touch down in someone else’s footprint on the beach. Someone else’s dog runs up for a pat and a lick and I walk passed someone else’s sandcastle.

I look into someone else’s mirror at my reflection with yet another backdrop behind me. Turning on someone else’s tap, I rinse the sand from my sun-kissed hands. I wash my hair with someone else’s conditioner under someone else’s hot running water. Dried with someone else’s towel, I put on someone else’s skirt and shoes, my familiar tee adding comfort and familiarity. “Mine,” and gifts, and things-borrowed all tumble together around my heavy backpack. With a passport and unknown destinations, somehow I’m filling up on someone else’s.

I bite into the food of yet another unfamiliar farmer, brought home in someone else’s grocery bag. I use someone else’s knife to chop the fresh greens from someone else’s garden after I wash off the dark soil from someone else’s land. Sitting at someone else’s oakwood table, set with a vase of flowers and eclectic collection of dishes, I enjoy the first taste off someone else’s fork. I reach into the salt dish amongst the impressions of someone else’s finger and thumb to pinch just enough to flavour the multigrain sourdough from someone else’s toaster. When we’re finished I carry everyone else’s plates to the sink and rub them with soap using someone else’s sponge. When the kettle’s hot, we all share a pot of fresh brewed tea enjoying each other’s company. I take in the warmth, aroma and flavour of the chai as I press my lips against the rim of the mug someone else has used so many other days of the past.

The beautiful moon is beginning to seem brighter in the darkening starry sky as our unfailing sun slips down behind someone else’s farmhouse. I shift into fifth gear with my foot on someone else’s clutch, accelerating with the petrol supplied by someone else’s station where I topped up someone else’s tank. I’m listening to someone else’s music as I turn on the wipers to clean someone else’s windscreen. I keep my gaze ahead on the horizon as someone else’s paddocks fly by us along the roadside, my hands gripping someone else’s steering wheel. I’m on my way to someone else’s house. I’ll walk through someone else’s doorway, set my bags down and sit back on someone else’s lounge.

While my eyes are full of the passing view of someone else’s trees growing behind someone else’s house, my mind is filled with the faces of someone else’s friends and family, the memory of my own blended with the new. The colours of someone else’s fashion slide along the words of someone else’s opinions as my mind considers someone else’s way of living. I’ve heard the lesson’s from someone else’s God and I’ve challenged the understanding for someone else’s beliefs. I dream of helping someone else’s children to succeed in this world we all share, whether we acknowledge it or not. I open my eyes, looking at someone else’s ceiling, and look forward to another day in someone else’s life. I feel my steady breath keeping my heart pumping and my body strong and healthy. I know my smile is always ready to be offered to someone else.

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Written in Euroa, edited in Melbourne, published in Hobart, read in... Someone else's life!