The scoop!

I realized last night that my blog is currently unentertaining because I'm just living a normal everyday life at this point and what's exciting about that? A friend suggested I have a pre trip blog that looks at all the little details that have to happen before this trip can. And what a confusing situation I'm in because my leave date keeps changing and I'm here then I'm gone but I wanna come back but I've already left and blah!
For those of you who don't know, this is what I'm doing as far as I know.
Ben and I have this friend, Steph, who has lived in Sydney for several years now and comes back to Oregon to visit during the holidays. We saw her at the end of December and she casually asked us if we were interested in working on her boyfriend's family farm. I personally happened to be in a place where I wanted a big change in lifestyle because I knew there was something better available! AND I've always wanted to travel so this opportunity offered that with cash walking AWAY from it! I think if I had still been at my old job there would have been no way I would have left (things did come up while I was working there which I declined) so I was in a great place in my life to open my arms and say YES! Ben was a little hesitant but eventually he decided he wanted to go too. At that point I had a million things to figure out! Like buy a visa, not to mention a passport! And a plane ticket. What to do with all my stuff!? What do I need for a year ~ and more importantly, What will fit in my backpack? (I'm amazed and kind of scared (though it was carefully planned) at how few clothes I have.) How will I stay in touch with the people I love? A blog? Oh, okay! ;)
...
Here's what I know. I'm going to Sydney to stay with our friend Steph and get acclimated to an entirely new world! Initially we were just gunna be with her for a few days before heading out to the farm but the harvest kept getting pushed *back* because of the rainy season. So now we're gunna do some traveling beforehand with whatever cash we can round up (thank you yard sale and tax return!) and then head out to the farm. This is Steph's boyfriend's family farm and she spent last year on the farm during the harvest season and said it was amazing. Jon, the guy in charge, asked Steph if she knew anyone who'd want to come stay on the farm with his family and work for 4-6 weeks during the cotton harvesting season. He's found it easiest and most comfortable for his family to keep it friends of friends. From what I've gathered these people have also done some traveling and seem super friendly and helpful in wanting us to be comfortable and feel safe as well as enjoy ourselves! When we Skyped with Jono (as Steph calls him, I guess there's a lot of O's added to names down there) I really liked him and he was super helpful and very down to earth.
It sounds like Ben and I will either be staying at their farm house or with Jon's parents who also live on the farm. They are a vegetarian family and it sounded like they were great cooks! :) Steph has warned me however that the serving size in Australia is much smaller than in America. I'm not surprised really but I do love me some food! We'll see...
Jon sent us a power point with pictures of the farm and some of the machines we'll be using for the harvest. Ben and I also looked up some videos on YouTube of the harvesting process using "module builders" and it's quite simple. Steph's selling line for me when she initially asked me was regarding the quiet and solitude of the work during beautiful sunny days. (We can't work when it's wet because the heavy machinery will get stuck in the mud.) We'll be out on the fields from 10-8 every day until the harvest is through (unless it rains) leaving mornings and evenings to reLaX. I'm looking forward to not having 500 things to do every day and to be more grounded in one thing, and more connected with the people around me, and more in tune with myself. At least that's the idea.
Afterwards Ben is coming back home to Southern Oregon for a good friend's wedding and back to life as he knows it. He was super lucky to find a renter and subletter for his place so he can keep the cute little home he's put so much work and heart into. I'm really happy he did.
Me, I have no clue. At the end of the harvest, if I haven't found something already I'll probably do some couch surfing and traveling until I find a place to hang out and make some money. Maybe that'll be another farm, maybe I'll be waiting tables (I hope not), maybe it'll be stacking produce, I really don't know. What I do know is something will come my way. I'd love to work for some kind of outdoor program giving tours or something. I do want to travel though and the more I think about it the more a year doesn't seem like long enough! I also want to go to New Zealand and as long as I'm traveling I feel like I should just go for it (if I can support myself) and trek around the globe! I know I for sure have a place in Tokyo and in Italy and in England. It probably wouldn't be that hard to find a place in Buenos Aires with my tango background. And I'd also love to travel in Africa~ I have a friend with family in south Africa, I'll have to get in touch with him. The world is so incredible and provides so many opportunities when you let it! I don't know how this adventure will unfold but I know it's going to be incredible.
I plan to take it one step at a time and see where I'm standing when I stop!

Ps. Spending my days with Maren has been so incredible. I am so impressed with how smart she is and how quickly she picks things up! I've been singing her a song (well, for everything but~ specifically) when I change her diaper and she's caught on already, doing the signs and singing along!! Her language and communication skills are absolutely amazing to me and I feel so lucky to be such a special person in her life. I have to say when I see her come right to me and warm up right away after not seeing me for 4 months even though she can be shy and fussy with other people I feel so so warm and fuzzy inside <3

Pps. I LOVE that tango is such a passionate and spectacular language that I can tune into wherever I am! It helps me meet great people, keeps my body happy and my mind dancin! ;)

A Grand "Expotition!"

I don't have as much to say today. Things are winding down busy-ness wise. I mean, I still have a ton of things to do (mainly because I was useless yesterday.) I did unsubscribe from all the mailing lists I was on to make checking my email faster! There are a couple specific things on my list for today but I can't accomplish much with two precious sleeping babies in the house :) I suppose I could've gotten up earlier. Miss Maren is wearing the cute owl outfit I gave her but she's already getting too big for it! It's amazing how fast she's growing and how much she's learned and how clearly she communicates!!! Today she was trying to whistle with me and it was all too adorable.
Last night I went to tango in San Francisco and had a great time! There was definitely a bit of intimidation from not knowing anyone but my first dance was with a woman from the class I took beforehand (so helpful in terms of feeling comfortable in the space and with the people and warming up!) She led the first song but I finished the tanda leading. It was SO fun! I'm a good lead! :D I was impressed with me! That was followed by two incredible tandas with this guy who was traveling from the east coast or something. Best tanda of the night ;) The rest were fun and I met some cool people as well as the old creepers ~but that's to be expected I suppose. I met someone who is actually friends with Samarra and I felt safe enough to ask him to drive me to Bart (thanks for the $$ dad but I told you it would work out.) Anyway, I got home late and ready to sleep! And I did sleep in again.. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a productive morning.
I'm amazed at how many wonderful people there are in Ashland who I love and care about but didn't get to say goodbye to. It seems like every day I think of someone or they ask me, "are you gone??" It's so hard to say goodbye to the wonderful community I've brought my heart into (especially through my work with children and now through tango) but I know I can continue to hold them in my heart for as long as I like.
~~How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan~~
Tryin to figure out if I wanna try and get some babysitting gigs or side jobs with my dad while I'm down here to continue making money before we go, or if I want to enjoy this space between my old life and my new one! It's especially wonderful to be here, now. I'm kinda feeling like these last few days in the states are going to disappear faster than the way the last few days in Oregon felt. Though there still is so much to do, I know that things will work out, I'll find what I need when I need it and there will always be someone available to help me (even if that someone is Me) along the way. What a grand "expotition"! (In the words of Christopher Robin)

Tuning IN and under!

After all the rushing and going-going-goings it feels so nice to have such a leisurely morning. I stayed up so so late last night distracting myself from the sadness I was feeling about saying goodbye to some of the people I am- was- am(?) closest with in Southern Oregon. I didn't really succeed in distraction but I did get sucked into a void of Facebook and tango. I found lots of opportunities to dance in the next two weeks and having chosen an option for almost every night made the time between now and my flight out seem so precious and invaluable and fleeting. The space I am kind of in now with wanting to be with Maren as much as possible and wanting to tango! :) reminds me of when I've had boyfriends who want to stay up really late but I get up for work early in the morning. It's tricky to balance but possible for some time. I think the key ingredient is *naps*. I could just get on Maren's nap schedule and then I'd be good to go!
As I was sitting here eating a breakfast concoction inspired by Samarra from our slumber party, (!!:D!!) and being addicted to my phone and communication with the world, (which maybe I'm holding on tighter to all my connections now because I'm not sure what's going to happen when I HAVE to let go..) I was trying to think of something else to do on my phone (though I have a list of things I NEED to get done :P) and I wondered if I should take advantage of leisurely mornings and blog then instead of attempting to blog during the exhaustion after a very full, exciting and busy day of travels and explorations of new things. I figured that at least for now it would be much easier in the mornings. If I get an 8 o clock day job in Aus then I might need to switch it around, but for now, I think it'll be better in the am.
I feel so incredibly relaxed and safe and happy here at Neen and Auntie K's with sweet Maren. I could live here! ;) I also appreciate the support and /gentle/ encouragement to keep takin care'a bizness since I'm so easily distracted and quick to engage in things that absorb me instead of things like: taxes, scanning documents, banking in Aus details, cell phone details, further consolidation of sTuFF :P ...the list goes on. As do the minutes of the day when I'm not doing them!
I sort of feel like I'm on a giant vacation. I mean, I still have responsibilities I know, but nothing immediate, no day job (yet) and no one to take care of other than myself. I guess the catch is, I need to take care of myself. The point of this trip is to tune into my needs and giving myself the attention to grow and learn and observe the world the way a mother would try to provide for her baby. ~As well as encouraging myself to accept responsibility for things and be more aware of everyone around me and how my choices effect them. And at the same time I don't want to slip into my *take care of everyone else and make sure everyone is okay* mode. I need to find the right balance so I am still focusing on me. That's what this time is for. I want to get more in my body. Tango is wonderland (< that was an autocorrect but I like it :) ANd it is wonderful for being in my body but I also want something to help me slow down and pay attention to what my body is feeling and needing ~ like yoga. And/meditation. I just haven't found the right discipline yet! I'm open to trying new things. Any ideas??
For now I'm tuning into the little details like the precious shape of sweet sleeping baby hands and appreciating the intricacies of each moment. I want to heighten my awareness of what's around me as well as my focus on the task at hand. Ultimately, I'm striving for more balance. Yesterday it was quite interesting having all my packs on AND my new shoes (which have a little rock to them) and feeling the effects of gravity. Dan was telling me some super interesting things about the center of an object (or persons) gravity and how it changes depending on what is being held-he talked about a tightrope walker and how the center of gravity actually exists below the person when they carry that big long bar (think of how a boomerang rotates around a center that isn't actually on the boomerang itself.) It is fascinating to me, though I'm not all that good at explaining it. I love learning about how the world works! Especially with people who are passionate about it (like my Tree Frog friends) not necessarily with a book :/
Okay. I'm going to do the dishes!
Ciao

First Leg

I'm currently on a train from Sacramento to Richmond, where I'll take Bart to El Cerrito to see miss Maren! This guy who was waiting for the train (for two hours) with me just bought me lunch! And earlier this lady went to get coffee and brought me back a water. I have been so so grateful to all the generosity of the many people around me. Especially the ones who have helped me accomplish the things I've needed to do to get going! The packing and unpacking. The loading and unloading. The many errands. And all the pieces in between. Thank you Samarra, Johanna, LLupus, Neil, Rosie T, Ben, Marirosie, Mimi and Papa, Auntie, James, Heather, Dan, Cara, Hannah and Ben, Matt and Davis, Feather and John, Lunette, and a few friendly strangers :)
I want to just note the highlights but the last few days have been SO busy and the highlights add up to a novel! I'm gunna need to be more on top of this thing if I'm gunna keep track of it all!
Yesterday I rushed around getting all my last minute millions of things done so I could leave town with miss Rosie on her way to her 21st birthday celebration in her newly acquired car (my old one ;) and I actually pulled it off!! I had to pull an all nighter beforehand but it was definitely worth it. I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbye to many of my friends but it isn't necessarily goodbye anyway, it's so long for now but talk to you soon with the amazing technology of the Internet (email, Facebook, Skype...)
My yard sale this weekend was a Huge success! Friday night as I was finishing up the organizing of my stuff the weather looked gruesomely cold and threatening rain and snow! So I decided to just take it all to goodwill in the morning. But when I woke up at 6 even though it was dark out I could only see clear skies and the potential for a beautiful day! Which it was!! With the help of my friends, I totally pulled off an incredibly successful sale and though I could have gone another day the weather didn't allow it and I really didn't need it so I donated the rest. *Speaking of donate, I still need to send in the ponytail I chopped off last week!
At this point I have 3 backpacks of stuff. I'm planning on leaving one of them in the bay with family and just having the two. I had a hard time packing minimally in such a rush. I definitely have my tango gear though! ;) I was working on my tango walk, musicality and different ocho exercises while I waited for the train today. I figured out some cool stuff as a lead. I walked up and down the "do not cross yellow line" line facing my bags: away from them as a follow and towards them as a lead. It was really cool and very entertaining for the wait in the beautiful sunshine! I so LoVe me some sun!
I'm already thinking about how I'm missing people. I think it was hardest to say goodbye to my Papa. I'm viewing this trip as an opportunity to really step out and away and find my independence. Saying goodbye to the man who gave me my very first bath the day I was born and has been there for me ever since (*and my Mimi) was symbolic to saying goodbye to this sense of dependency I want to release. Families are wonderful for that support and enduring love, and I also want to feel stronger on my own two feet! Because the truth is, they won't always be there. And halfway across the world they can't be there. It's amazing though, how many connections I'm already making with people in Australia and in New Zealand who I'm hoping to connect with once I'm there. I feel like such a huge part of humanity's responsibility is to each other <3 All you need is love.

Flexibility

I wrote a blog about a week ago amidst packing and working and goodbye-ing and at one point I needed to close down the app and do something else and was planning to come back to it but when I did it was gone :( I didn’t take the time to figure out what I had been talking about and now it’s lost in space and my unconscious memory.
The weather is making me crazy.. It claims it’s going to rain and snow all weekend and yet it isn’t now and I look out the window and see patches of blue sky. There are benefits to waiting another weekend but I’m ready to be done and GO!
We have also had a couple snafus in travel plans because the date for the cotton harvest got moved up two weeks ~ we were informed of this RIGHT after we bought our tickets! In hindsight I would have checked in with the farmer right before to make sure everything was still on track (this was the case just a week before but weather…it messes with things!) So now Ben and I are in Sydney for 3 weeks with very little cash OR Jon pays the fees to change the dates and we move the whole trip up. Not sure what the final plan is at this point. There sure is plenty to get done before I leave regardless of WHEN it is!
I cut off my hair last week and while I’m loving the short and sassy look, I think I want it shorter. The term I used was “flippy-outty” and right now it’s just poofy. Sometimes things don’t quite turn out the way I imagine. A friend said, whatever you’re imagining this place (Australia) is going to be like, it’s going to be completely different! He’s right I’m sure. As I was packing my clothes last night I thought about how funny it was to try and imagine wearing these things in a setting I knew very little about. It’s sort of like imagining a blank background, I don’t know what it’s going to be!
It’s been really interesting trying to pull the funds together to make this happen. From tango lessons to unemployment (Which I haven’t successfully received yet) to tax return to selling my car and computer and to this yard sale that may or may not happen (depending on the weather!) Oh and birthday $$ AND money from old gift cards and such ~ I think I’ll have a nice cushion so that after the farm I don’t have to scramble to wildly to find an un-enjoyable day job. A friend pointed out yesterday that everything we do has purpose and is decided by our purpose. If my purpose is to make children and families happy as I support myself, then I can keep working with them. If my purpose is to do some internal focusing and not be worried about taking care of others, probably childcare isn’t the best way to go to meet my financial needs AND my personal needs. It will be quite interesting to find a job outside of that comfort zone!
I guess I need to keep moving along. There really is so much to be done and whether I leave Monday or a week from then, I need to keep moving! Today I’m going to act as though the yard sale is happening and if tomorrow morning I wake up and there’s snow falling from the sky, I’ll curl up in front of the fire with a book, visit with my family and wait for the snow pass through. It’s amazing: the power of choice. I also discovered the other day that when I walk around with a smile on my face I think happy and positive thoughts, which makes me smile, which continues the cycle. It also opens the door for possibility! And awareness for the beautiful and wonderful things in life is so much more present! I enjoyed stopping and dancing for a street musician singing Irish songs before going in to ask to use my 10 expired gift certificates ~ which were granted! :D Just keep smiling!