We're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

I've just cut my hair under the dim light of a full moon in a cloudy sky, the night wind blowing the ends through the grass. It was another amazingly hot day in Euroa, nearly 40 degrees, and it's wonderfully warm out now. A perfect summertime evening. After dinner with Natalie's parents she and I went for a walk around the farm with her puppy Jazzy. We walked home into a beautiful country sunset and as we turned the corner back to the house I stopped in my tracks seeing the red-orange moon rising over the trees. We contemplated in awe how incredibly small we are as a planet in the vastness of the universe that the sun (which had only just dropped from our view) would be shining under us in order to light up the moon. Ahh! I just saw the most incredible comet blaze through the sky! There is also an exciting lightening storm happening off in the distance. It's really a gorgeous night. I feel like I could sleep out here but I know I'd get eaten alive by mossies. For now I'm happy enjoying the quiet of the crickets and cicadas and watching the dark clouds pass, perfectly framing the moon, for my sake I'm sure.

Today I had a wonderful time with Natalie's mom Deborah up on Mt. Buller. (Boolah- is how you pronounce it Aussie; Nat and Deb have the strongest Aussie accents I've encountered. When Jennifer and I initially met them at Uluru, we had a really funny experience where I sent Deborah for Jennifer but when she rushed into the room explaining herself Jennifer just stared at her, "huh?" Jennifer said she knew Deb was speaking English but just could not make out the words! The Australian accent is curious like that. Apparently it's even more strange in New Zealand!) The Macedon mountain ranges, which are just a couple hours north of Melbourne, are also called the Snowy Mountains and are a popular ski spot in winter (June and July "winter"). Today, at the end of November, they were lush and green and it was amazingly cooler at the summit than down in the valley. We dipped ourselves in the creek and enjoyed our escape into nature. It was wonderful to see the peak of a ski resort, much like Mt. Ashland, and to have an entirely different type of landscape spread out before me. Gum trees, eucalypts, paper trees (?) ferns and bush scrub all painting greens and greys along the cliff side. I had my head out the window like a pup enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air, the sunshine and the breeze. I was enamored with the colors and beauty and freshness of life! It's amazing how refreshing and uplifting nature really is. With my feet enjoying the tumbling waters of the river I realized I'm truly a mountains girl. I love the ocean and I love the vast countryside but my home is with the forests and streams.

That moment was just one of several today when I saw reflections of myself.. in the future. It was confirmation of who I am and who I aspire to be. A mother, a bicyclist, a colorful and creative being, a lover of nature... We really are so much encompassed in the beautiful form of the human body. And capable of amazing things if we tap into our resources and allow the expansion to brighten the world! I don't know that tall poppy syndrome is unique to Australia but shared with anyone who wasn't nurtured towards the confidence to embrace their gifts to the fullest potential because of judgments too quickly placed by our societies. But we can learn to trust each other, to support one another and to grow together towards peace and love. Somehow, I believe we can heal from these ways.

This week has given me a chance to catch up with some things I was procrastinating, as well as tune into myself in a deeper way. I got a chance to metaphorically clean the lenses of my glasses and reassess my journey. Travel is amazing in providing unique experiences and the chance to meet wonderful people, and is also very "full on." Being in new places means navigating new streets and meeting new people means major energy output to connect as well as input from the vast diversity that every new person has to offer. I find people fascinating and have made some lovely friends through my travels who I would have NEVER encountered from my living room or past daily routines at home. It's wonderful to hear new perspectives, learn about life through other's knowledge and experience the diversity of human culture. Sometimes this also gives me a chance to practice compassion when I encounter someone I completely disagree with. I am reminded that somehow in their mind they are right and whether (in my opinion) it's from a lack of knowledge or resources or simply different understandings, I can give myself the opportunity to better understand another perspective. (Or I can fight it, where no one wins and everyone is resentful- this does not make for enjoyable relationships.) It's been an amazing journey of my Self as I learn about relationships daily and cultivate friendships all over the map!

I was feeling that it would have been better if my Australia trip had more of a purpose. It seems that so much of the appeal of travel is about instant gratification, thrill and indulgence with not much gained but a "really cool experience!" I never felt like the typical tourist during my travels and generally found myself disinterested in these types of thrills. I'm realizing this trip is about realizing who "Hannah" is and what I am capable of. By broadening my horizons I am gaining understanding, compassion and acceptance for the ways of humanity in order to approach my own purpose with a sense of clarity and gentle confidence. The teacher in me can always use more opportunities to practice patience and appreciation for other perspectives. I'm beginning to understand how I am meant to use my talents to provide opportunities for change in this world. I am realizing the power of community, humility and gratitude. I am striving to embody the meaning of Grace.

If I survive the heat and bugs of the next eight hours, tomorrow I'm heading back to the city. I'm looking forward to meeting up with some friends and visiting Melbourne with a new itinerary. My exit will be about the same as it was in April though, with a 3am shuttle bus to the airport! I'm excited for my trip to Tasmania and feel so grateful to have new friends awaiting me when I arrive! Australians are beautiful people.
(I've moved my bed to the back of Nat's ute. I hope the breeze can keep the bugs away, it was way too stuffy inside! My only fear now is being stabbed by a falling leaf! Or perhaps being rained on. We'll just have to wait and see.) Goodnight moon.
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That was about the worst sleep ever! Hot, itchy, stuffy, unsettled! I guess I'll be sleeping really well tonight! For now it's time to pack then enjoy some rice and "bok" (choy- they shorten everything here!!!)

Don't let it pass you by...So Make the Most of this Life

Let’s see if I can channel my inner blogger and the beautiful descriptions from the first time I wrote out these experiences. Though I was hesitant to leave my beautiful friends in the mountains, I know I want to make the most of my last few months in Australia. I’m not great at deciding on which plan is best so I kind of shut my eyes and jumped (into a plane ticket to Tasmania and back!) The wonderful thing is that now I have a plan and don’t have to think about it, the tricky part is that sometimes I don’t want to leave where I’m at to do the next scheduled thing. I’m making the best of it all and have been meeting some incredible people! I have to say South Australia may be my favourite state if not solely for the beautiful, friendly and hospitable people I met there.

After eight hours of driving from Goolgowi on our way from the mountains, and lots of shared favourite musicians, we arrived at Victoria’s friend Allison’s place. We were greeted by two happy girls, eager to play with sweet Effie, and Allison and her husband who have taken on the beautiful project of maintaining a gorgeous old house. I loved the history seeping from within the walls, it’s an amazing place. A couple of Victoria’s other friends, Ariela and Yemme, had just flown in from England and were totally jetlagged and hilariously exhausted. We were quite the bunch of travellers plopped down in the gorgeous grass in the backyard. We shared much laughter and travel stories as we enjoyed amazing burgers! Vic and I shared the eggplant and lentils left from the trip on our burgers complete with beetroot, shaved zucchini salad, sautéed onions and mushrooms, chutney, avocados, home grown lettuce and yummy toasted buns. We were in a delicious mess of happiness! After helping clean up, Ariela had fallen asleep on the floor and Victoria went to help her up for a goodbye hug. The two of them (in flower printed shirts) went back down again in a tumble of “floral cascades” nearly crushing Effie and sending the rest of us in a fit of ridiculous laughter! It was an amazing evening and I’m so grateful I got to meet such a gorgeous group of friends.

Vic drove the rest of the way to her mum’s and it was all I could do to stay awake in the car. After a greeting, shower and quick cuppa tea, I found myself sound asleep wrapped in comfort and gratitude for my experiences. The next day while Victoria and Jenny were at the beach with Effie, (I slept through the outing!) I began looking for a place to do some WWOOFing near Yankalilla. The first response I got was from a commune nearby, though apparently no one would be home until that evening. While chatting over a beautiful tropical fruit breakfast, Jenny suggested I keep looking around and find something I was really feeling drawn to and offered her place another night if need be. She is such a lovely mum! Vic and I went down to the beach and threw ourselves in the gorgeously clear waters where I let go of all my apprehensions and let myself feel free to follow my heart! I’m so glad I did because after a wonderful homemade Mediterranean lunch, I called a beautiful couple who basically lived across the street (and up a very steep hill) from Jenny who said they’d love to host me a couple days. It turns out Jenny knew them and said she’d take me over in the morning. We took Effie for a walk as the sun set over the waves at the beach. On the way home we saw a whole warren of baby rabbits hopping through a neighbourhood behind the coastline. They were adorable and Effie was shaking in her boots to get out and play with them!

Wednesday morning as Jenny and I pulled up to the gorgeous property where Ruth and Tresh live, Phoebe came leaping over to meet us! Phoebe is their precious four month old puppy who is the perfect size color and shape to be a small toy but she’s adorably real! I never did get over her cuteness and we decided we must be sisters because our hair and silliness matched! Ruth took us on a tour of the colourful roses in her garden and Tresh invited us in for morning tea. We shared tea and toast and immediate bonding as we looked over their back veranda out at the ocean. (I even had some vegemite on my toast! Amongst other things like avocado and olive oil, tahini and homemade chutney.) After we ate Ruth sent me off with the clippers to dunk my head into amazing lavender bushes in need of pruning. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and the trees in the orchard provided just enough shade for me to enjoy the beautiful task. During a wonderful lunch, Ruth and I found ourselves enjoying deep conversations and decided to continue chatting over a lovely weeding session in the garden. (She was right in that weeding is quite enjoyable with two women and it reminded me of when I invited Coleen over for a weeding party in my backyard in Ashland and though she was too grossed out by the (flying!!) worms we really had a nice time together.)

Jenny came by after our work for the day was done to take me to visit her sister Marge’s farm. Though pretty far out in the country, it was only a ten minute drive to her paradise full of wildlife, farm animals and gorgeous landscape. We were initially greeted by their happy pups and then welcomed by Marge and Jen. Our first order of business was to feed their pet emu! He’d been taken in as a rescue animal and was very sociable. He’s such a gorgeous prehistoric looking creature, it was amazing to meet him! Next we wandered over to the cow pastures where the calves from last year weren’t so sure of a new visitor but looked quite sweet grazing by the creek side. Jen called over her old pony and was checking on him while Marge took us out to the other paddocks to meet the newest members of the farm. A couple of the calves were just a day old! It was precious to see them toppling around their mothers, every once in a while getting confused about who belonged to who!

They also had a few very silly horses on the back paddocks, one of whom used my hand as a scratching post as I reached out to pat him. I fed one of the chooks in the chook yard where we’d led gorgeous Big Bird in hopes he’d feel the need to display his feathers for all the ladies. Apparently he wasn’t in the mood but it didn’t keep me from acknowledging his amazing colors! I got to sit beneath their unbelievably huge fig tree, where hopefully one day they’ll have a cubby house! Before we left we explored the incredible Settler’s Cottage that came with the property that Jen has filled with family heirlooms making the place look amazingly old fashioned. I felt like we’d stepped back in time and we all agreed how wonderful it was they had such an amazing place on their land. Jen hopes to make it into a studio and I know if I lived there I would certainly make use of it! I would have loved to WWOOF on their farm, but as it was I was so happy I got the chance to visit the place and make a couple new friends!

Back at Ruth and Tresh’s we all shared a delicious dinner and chat. Tresh was trying to use a faulty website to get tickets to the Cricket test the next day and it opened the jar for much hilarious computer explorations, including making google talk to us like Elmer Fudd and a Pirate! I was happy to be of technical assistance, with what few skills I have thanks to Ms. Noble and computer class from second grade onward. I was also blessed with experiencing Tresh in complete uncontrollable laughter in telling me a ridiculous story about taking Phoebe for a walk which I dare not publish, but will never forget! Both evenings we spent together proved to be much too short as we all had many common interests and really got on so well with each other. Again, it was hard that the visit had to be so short but I’m so happy to have made such beautiful friends.

I will never forget their gorgeous and sustainable house either. The wrap-around deck seems like the perfect way to always enjoy outside even in wet or very hot weather. The massive windows that cover nearly every wall bring in beautiful sunlight and give a stunning view of their yard and of the ocean. I was also very impressed with their composting toilet and awesome bathroom. Walking through the gardens seemed like a dream, full of herbs, beautiful flowers, towering bushes and trees and a wonderful selection from their orchard. I enjoyed a delicious grapefruit the day I left and was absolutely so grateful for their generosity. Other than sweet Phoebe and Pippa, their cat (who were hilarious together by the way!) there is much wildlife around the property to keep anyone engaged. There was a massively ginormous grey kangaroo behind the veggie patch one night and I was almost scared for what a huge beast it was! I thought it was a moose! Phoebe did her best guard dog impression offering more cuteness I think than aggressiveness. The roo hopped off anyway. If I ever find myself back in Yankalilla it’s so good to know I have friends there with beautiful homes and generous spirits.

Tresh offered the wonderful connection of his friend Rowan in Melbourne where I was heading next with a ride share and it was perfect! We stopped about halfway from Adelaide to Melbourne at Mt. Arapiles which is apparently one of the most popular rock climbing spots in the world! I had a small go at it but without gear I didn’t want to go too far. I definitely felt the appeal though and was so grateful to wake up at the base of such an incredible mountain. Once in Melbourne I met up with awesome Rowan who connected me with wonderful Freeman, a young monk helping run a program at a local Vietnamese Buddhist Temple. After a quick dip in the ocean I spent the evening working with like-minded people to host a beautiful concert and dinner and made some wonderful friends. It’s incredible to me how many amazing people there are in this world and I feel so lucky to be continually meeting them! It felt so good to be a part of something and was inspiring to my cause of hoping to spread education to places where it’s needed most. More on this later…

I’m spending this week with my friends who rescued me from isolated Uluru on a horse stud in Euroa, north of Melbourne. It’s very hot and dry (and also isolated) but great to get a chance to catch up on some things before heading out to Tazzy this weekend! Yesterday we had a fun thunderstorm in the middle of the day and I was out for a walk (pretty far away from anything) and though I knew it was coming there wasn’t much to be done. I was surrounded by dry grassy paddocks of horses, cows and sheep and walking along a gravel road. I watched the sky get darker as the clouds moved overhead. I felt the wind get cool and smelled the dampness of the earth. I could see the wind pushing through the treetops and grasses and hear the thunder rumbling. The heavy drops began to fall from the sky just as I stepped beneath a large tree on the side of the road. I watched the ground around me grow dark with wetness and enjoyed seeing the ducks across the road shake their feathers and let the rain roll off their backs. I stood beneath the storm for a good ten minutes, mostly under the protection of the tree, until it stopped and then continued my walk to the creek and through the park. It was a wonderful experience, just as so many others have been! I love this adventure I’m on!

Something unpredictable and in the end it's right

I'm lying in the grass next to the river in the capital of South Australia, which I didn't think I'd get to. I'm glad I got down here because it feels more like home than anywhere else has for a long time. The roadside itself sometimes feels like Pinole or even Albany. I don't know if it's just the landscape and climate or if it also has that northern California vibe. Regardless of why, for the first time in my travels I've felt a tinge of possibility of visiting again someday. It helps that I've met SUCH wonderful people. I think hanging out with the locals is the true essence of good travel.

The drive down from the mountains with Victoria was an encouraging reminder of the beauty of life. I was blessed with amazing generosity of my friends at the Cafe before I left, ensuring that my presence would be missed and that I certainly had a home to come back to. Victoria and I set off about midday with her sweet pup Effie, delicious and wholesome foodies and a static connection of all we had in common for endless discussion and contemplation. The drive itself was fun and was a lot like cruisin from the Bay Area to Ashland on Highway 5 in many parts of it. I think my favorite part of the drive was when the road was absolutely covered with tumbleweeds! They were flooding the lane and I wasn't sure whether I needed to drive around but ended up going right through! They flew up like bubbles and it was absolutely fantastical! We also just barely missed driving over a couple brown snakes; the second most deadly in the world apparently. It was awesome to get to drive with Victoria, she was quite patient with my discovery of nurturing a manual through the very small towns we did pass through and stop in. Wonderful to get that experience too, because wouldn't you know it, my next ride share is also a manual car.

Vic and I stopped to camp about half way in a teeeny little town called Goulgowi. (I had a discussion with some Aussies about how many of the Dr. Seussish sounding names here are probably the English simply phonetically translating the aboriginal language to name cities and streets. I suppose it's certainly better than the heritage being completely left behind but sometimes the disregard for the culture resulted in false translations like Parramatta is actually the land of the Baramatta Tribe. Of course there are other examples as well but it is quite interesting to learn about the culture, language and heritage of the Australian Aboriginal People and their struggle to both sustain their history and integrate into today's society.) In Goulgowi we stayed at a "caravan park" (patch of lawn on the side of the road with toilets and electricity.) Some of the locals there offered us a job in the wheat harvest but we explained we were amidst much adventure and would have to pass this time! We had a lovely picnic and slept soundly beneath a massive starry sky.

The drive into Victoria and then South Australia was incredibly flat and wonderfully vast. We rarely saw another car and the towns are extremely far apart. The Hay Plain is unbelievable; yellow grassland is all I could see in every direction! It was amazing. Not a hill in sight, and actually, in looking at the horizon, there was a mirage just beneath the last bit of land on the horizon making it look like there was levitating land at the end of the world. There were amazing salt pans in some areas where amongst the growing grains and bush land we would see a lake of brilliantly white salt. It's incredible the things earth produces and sometimes so unexpectedly. As far as I know, coastland was ages away from there and yet, there's salt and sand. I'm continually fascinated by this ancient world of ours.

The other "traffic" on the road was mostly semi trucks (or road trains.) At one point when I was driving, we were coming up to a railroad crossing and parallel to the tracks there was a semi rolling along toward the intersection though it looked as though it were on the tracks! My understanding in the world is that you always give way to things moving down the railroad track, and yet we were approaching at 110k's and I wasn't sure whether to stop or not! It was a quite exhilarating to just trust that the truck was going to stop and keep sailing through! (He did.) Our other crazy road experience was when we were on a bit of a dusty road and all of a sudden on the right side of the road out of the dust came a huge truck roaring towards us! It was like a ghost semi truck of the harvest season! We laughed at how much it frightened us and sighed once it had passed.

Amongst the randomness we saw in the great outback there were also some really endearing things. (Of course I spotted them during my drive so I couldn't take pictures.) Behind the bridge that crosses from New South Wales to Victoria there was a small house beside the river with the sign, "Bridge keeper's Cottage." I found it to be a better alternative to the troll who usually patrols those places. We also drove under Peppermint Lane and Honeypot Road. How cute is that!? It was like playing candy land only, in a car! There was also the nostalgia of seeing cotton on the side of the road, blown off from trucks transporting it as well as bales out in the fields. Victoria gathered a fluffy bunch of it for her car collection of nature.

Adaide has some very interesting ways. There's a whole section of highway that at different times of the day changes it's direction. For example the the whole thing becomes a southbound highway during certain parts of the day and northbound during others. The locals never seem to know which it will be and it's a matter of chance once you get there! The public transit in the city is decent and the layout of the place is easy enough to navigate which is good for someone who has only a few hours to tackle the place! When I got on the bus I listened to the ding, ding, ding of locals scanning their prepaid metro cards and laughed out loud (then apologized) when one woman's card made the machine go: boink! The driver let her on anyway.

It seems to me that a city is a collection of attractions for tourists and locals alike amongst a working society of busy bees. The attractions to choose from in most cities are: markets, restaurants, cafes and all kinds of food, architecture, libraries, churches (Adelaide is the "city of churches") parks, gardens, buskers, galleries, museums, Unis, pubs, zoos, traffic, friendly locals, hidden cafes and holes-in-the-wall that you won't find in a tour book. With one day to explore the city I had to choose only a few. (That's how I found myself in the shade by the river.) While eating lunch with Yuon tei (my ride share connection) Victoria meandered over to the restaurant we were at- her favorite in Adelaide apparently! We shared a couple sticky rice puddings which were very strange to look at but delicious! It was awesome to connect with her again. Yuon tai was amazed that we'd only met a few days before because we "look like lifelong friends," she's just awesome like that. So I ended up getting a local's tour to some of the best shops where I bought things like a cup of strawberries covered in dark chocolate, bulk snacks from Goodies and Grains, and avocados and kombucha from Wilson's for the next couple days of travel. I kept offering Serhat (our other ride share partner) bits of food that I was nibbling on in the car on the way to Melbourne. I thought his response was really cute: "You have many things in your bag. You are like a super market... Your nutrition is very healthy."

In Adelaide I decided with only a few hours to spend what I wanted most was to explore the botanical gardens. I wandered beneath my favorite jacaranda trees to the Garden of Health. It had signs with some interesting history of health and the medicinal uses of plants and how much more prominent they've been since we've realized we need to go back to nature to nurture ourselves! I enjoyed many beautiful moments watching the happy rainbow lorikeets bathe in the fountain in the center of the garden. It is a gorgeously green area safe from the business of city life. We could all use more gardens in our lives I think.

og mataður af svefn-g-englum - and fed by sleep angels

I'm driving back from the Harvest Festival in Parramatta with a very tired and quiet crew. I've never seen so many pizzas in my life! I'm really amazed at how fast we whipped them out too. At one point it was a 4 against 1 race between me and the dough rollers! So fun! It was Very much an assembly line so everyone put a little love into each scrumptious meal that we got to share with someone lucky! We were in kind of an unfortunate location- the very back corner of the festival- however we were a few stalls down from the bar. It took a few sets for me to figure out that as people poured away from the stage but not towards us!? that they were actually going straight for the grog. Makes sense. We were right in front of one of the main stages though, which was kinda cool. Music to keep us moving while we worked! I had a really fun time with everyone on the crew. Simchah and I totally rocked sauce spreading on the rolled out doughs that Behkor, Kafir and Sadaki were producing. Hepsevah an Havah were back and forth collecting the finished racks and replacing them with empty ones to fill. Malilah and Rivkah made some of the yummiest pizzas ever! While Tikvah, Big Rivkah, Ehlehah and Yachad worked with the customers. It was great fun even in the masses of business. I think most of all because of the amazing amount of respect that we all have for each other and the desire to have kindness and love in our interactions. There was much laughter and even tears of gratitude. 

Simchah and I had a chance to talk about some really amazing things. I think what struck the strongest chord was acknowledging the deep turmoil the people of this beautiful earth are living with. It's been a long time since I acknowledged God in my life, but regardless of what we decide to call it, there must have been a bigger and more beautiful plan for the creation of this universe and this certainly isn't it. I don't know how I feel about everything they say and do in the Twelves Tribes, but it does feel so wonderful to have such amazing friends here and to have the opportunity to reflect and really discover what it is I believe about my life and my purpose for the next sixty-odd years. I think I've always known in my heart I'm meant to do something big. I've always known I'll never have a desk job or work in retail (there are certainly people who are well equipped and much needed to fulfill these roles in society, I'm just not it.) I also know wherever I end up, there will most certainly be children nearby if not there in the dirt with me! I've got a lot to consider and plenty more learning ahead of me. I'm two thirds through Half the Sky- it's quite a challenge to read because I can emotionally only digest so much of it at a time- and am also reading about classroom gardens. Amazing how much there is I have to learn; an incredible forever-process. 

One of the exciting perks about joining the Common Ground clan in their festivities today was I got to see Sigur Ros! It was unreal to be emersed in the power of their music. They're absolutely outstanding live. I tried not to think too much about wanting to get closer but I knew I could feel wonderfully swallowed up in it all if I did. I did have an amazing view. They had a really fantastic show with their lights and background screens. It came to me that live music is best when it's familiar, when I'm up close and can see the expressions of the artists, and I could understand how it would have been especially intriguing with stimulants of some type. I did enjoy it thoroughly sober, but it was fun to watch the people around me who were totally loopy. Sigur Ros is such a provocative type of music that really pushes you to go into yourself. As I listened and swayed with the huge crowd around me under a summer night sky, feeling the breeze across my face and through my hair, I felt raw and exposed. It was like I was being churned and then turned inside out. It was such a revealing experience for me in the way music can be such a catalyst for recognizing and accepting emotions and moving through them. Whether it's joy, gratitude, love, fear, anger, sadness or hope. I really loved having their music in my mind for the rest of the evening as we packed up shop. It was funny how unenthusiastic the crowds were all day though, Australia just doesn't seem to have the same enthusiasm for clapping that we do in the States! (Like when Steph and I were clapping along to the performance at Jurassic Lounge, we were the only ones!)

While cleaning up I continued to allow myself to stay in that raw state, vulnerable and exposed to my surroundings and experience. Fortunately I was working with such incredible people, it was much easier to embrace and allow the awareness to envelop me. I felt more in tune with my responses to things and more conscious of my choices. One of the experiences that I really appreciated was unsurprisingly related to pizza itself. At the end of the last performance on "our" stage, everyone flowed in the exact opposite direction from our STACKS of ready to cook pizzas! We called to them, I ran a few free ones out to attract attention, and we kept preparing away. We eventually realized we could stop making more and start cleaning up. There were two racks of pizzas waiting by the oven to be baked. I wondered could we bake them and take them home. Yachad, with the final word, told me to chuck them in the bin. If you know me, you could imagine the complete resistance I felt to this task. I go to All Lengths not to throw out food and am only just beginning to realize the prospect of not finishing what's on my plate if I've had enough to eat. I mostly took on the task to meet the challenge head on. I grimaced as I dumped one gorgeous pizza after another into a cold, plastic, black rubbish bag. When I finished I stepped back and tried to let go of the idea that there are so many hungry people in the world! Or how I could have cooked a couple and shared them with my road trip buddies tomorrow. 

As the cleaning continued a pile of about 6 crispy pizzas caught my eye on the bench next to the bin. I knew if I didn't bag them, they'd be tossed out so I did and put them up high. I was grateful for at least the opportunity to possibly share one on the road. Not too long after, a man came up asking Rivkah if we had any food left, that he was really hungry and that everything was shut down. When Rivkah asked I pointed out the pile and she said, "should I just give him the whole bag?" I looked at her and swallowed a big gulpful of selfishness and said, "Yeah, sure!" More satisfied by the opportunity to share. When she gave them to him he was surprised and so grateful, "This will make some workers very happy." I smiled. That was definitely the right choice. Defeating greediness one situation at a time. And amazingly, just as we were about to leave, Havah went back to the cool room asking for the combo to the lock, and then came out producing a box full of pizzas to take home! How encouraging!

I feel like I had more fun doing that work today, spending time with such wonderful people, than I have doing anything else in during my trip in Australia. We had an amazing time in between things as well, playing Frisbee and hacky-sack and running, jumping and tumbling in the grass. There's something incomparable about sharing experiences in such tight knit groups, accomplishing amazing tasks in very small spaces that makes my very existence feel nurtured and satisfied. Playing a significant role in an organized group, each like teeth on a gear, is incredibly satisfying to me and always has been. I'm a "warrior to the end," Simchah called me, as I worked until everyone else was ready to call it a night. Even if all we did today was feed hungry people with delicious food, it was all done with love, care and purpose. 

Haha. My latest challenge has been the decision of spending Christmas with my wonderful Australia-adopted family on the farm or the family who's so lovingly taken me in from Katoomba at the Woodford Folk Festival. We just passed a couple signs that said "WOODFORD." Truly, I think I can make both happen and enjoy a bit of both worlds. I'm still figuring out how to sort it all out travel wise. It's wonderful to know that either way I'll be spending the holiday with beautiful people sharing love and friendship. 

My next adventure starts tomorrow! In trying to find a ride from Port Macquarie to Sydey, I connected with a girl traveling from the Blue Mountains to visit her family in Adelaide! I jumped on the opportunity! Adelaide was on my list but I didn't think I was going to be able to make it happen, and it put me right there nearly next to Tasmania! It was a bit scary making the definitive travel plans as I bought my plane tickets using ancient and unpredictable Internet, but I think I'm more thrilled than anxious for a final opportunity to do some big traveling in this beautiful country. I will have been to seven out of Australia's eight  states/territories! So cool. I plan to do more WWOOFing (Willing Worker on Organic Farm) exchanges and visit my friends who gave me the ride from Uluru to Kings Canyon and Alice Springs. There are some amazing things ahead! It's going to be a grand adventure! I'm a bit nervous, but I'm sure I will find myself in wonderful places with beautiful people...because that just seems to be how it goes!

It's Easy! All You Need is Love!

Today there was a double eclipse! A solar eclipse covered up by clouds! Haha, oh well. Today was also the day a new phase of my trip began to fall into place. Looks like I'll get to visit Adelaide after all! And hopefully Tasmania! and Melbourne once more. There are a few people I want to visit before I go home as well. It's strange to think of saying goodbye to people here, more than likely for forever. I've made some wonderful friends and met some amazing people. But I'm fantastic at skipping ahead instead of living in the here and now so I'll reign it in and focus on this. 

The move went really well and waking up in a beach house is very much like being on vacation. Oh..wait..I AM on vacation! So weird. I'm not too good at doing nothing. I bounce between music, guitar, books, writing, walking and napping. I often feel restless and want to be of assistance to someone. I'd be out on the beach right now except that it's totally cloudy and overcast. So here I am updating the world (of my blog readers) what I've been swimming in (other than the gorgeous, warm ocean and the pool in the backyard!)

I feel like I'm trying to get used to living in new skin. It's awkward at times and uncomfortable. It doesn't quite fit just yet and I question whether it's really right for me. It's also thrilling and encouraging at times when I feel my growth and sense my change in perspective. I suppose everyone sheds skins now and then, it just feels more dramatic because for me it was the purpose of this trip and I'm focusing on it in a bigger way. I feel like my range of vision is bigger, my ears more open, my mouth full with new ideas and yet much quieter, letting my ears do more work and my heart more accepting. Striving to be a "better" person takes diligence and yet it's a lifelong process so it needs to be balanced with gratitude and joy. I still enjoy my kid-skin and silliness and am happy to know that will always be a part of who I am. Mostly my shifts are about becoming a more compassionate person in every form I can. I want to ask more questions to gain better understanding and strive to be selfless. Patience and tolerance in every moment challenges my need to be right. I don't think there's anything wrong with opinion as long as we know the difference between sharing ideas and telling "facts." It's becoming more apparent to me that even scientifically the truth is always relevant. 

Most recently education has been the focus of my dreams; my own and that of the world's children. It's been continually confirmed for me that strength, confidence and wisdom stem from a healthy and balanced education. Education of course has many masks but the point is it provides constant support to the developing interests of the human mind and spirit in order for one to understand and define her purpose. Education is the foundation of a sustainable environment, a stable economy, respectable relationships, healthy choices and tomorrow's world. Unfortunately education is unbelievably undervalued! (Not to mention tainted and contrived in some cases.) I am so grateful for my own amazing education and for my interest and passionate calling to it. 

But what I don't understand is how little appreciation and support goes toward the people building the future by molding and encouraging tomorrow's leaders and peace makers. How does anyone think people got to where they're at today? Rarely (if ever) does someone get anywhere entirely on their own. Growth, understanding and wisdom come from education. It comes from parents, teachers, mentors, siblings, friends, community leaders, authors, musicians, directors, philosophers, children, animals and the stranger you talked to on the bus. We are all part of each other's understanding of the world and have to realize our responsibility to support, encourage and appreciate each other's talents, ideas and unique perspectives. 

I wonder what the world would be like if we all treated one another the way you might treat a child struggling to learn how to tie her shoe, or pour water from a pitcher or get to the top of a stairwell four times his size. We were all there once, we all had to learn those things. And we, as adults, all learn new things daily, so why not give each other the benefit of the doubt and be more understanding about each of our processes of development. I think if we were all more sensitive to each other, more patient and listened more readily, we would have a much more peaceful world. And guess what, those things are taught in preschool. Those things are the foundation of a strong education. This, I believe, is the solution to the pain and suffering of the people in our world. This, based in love and trust. It's all quite simple really and yet amazingly fundamental. 

With the Obamas at the head of the American ship, I hope we can begin to make some shifts in the direction this world is heading in. Lead with acceptance for one another, cooperation with each other, sustainable choices, and compassionate living, all things we teach our children, let's learn from and be an example for each other. I know this blog doesn't get far. I know my daily interactions are a small flickering flame in the dark. And I also know that every opportunity I have to offer kindness instead of shame, support instead of control, and a smile of understanding instead of a defensive rebuttal, I am shining brighter from my own heart as an example for others to follow. I hope this message encourages anyone who reads it to do the same. One day, I believe, all teachers will have this strength and will bring up generation after generation of compassionate, understanding and loving human beings who will rule the world with the light in their hearts. 

Mother Teresa said "If you can't feed one hundred people, feed just one." Today I hope to feed the spirit of one. And if you like, I'll make you a bowl of soup as well!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

So strange to think life at home will be basically the same even though I feel I've changed, grown and gained a new perspective on life. Everything I know is being challenged right now by the life I'm choosing to emerge myself in. Making decisions holds a new element and pulls me deeper into myself to listen for clearer answers. My desire to feel grounded and secure is battling my hope to make the most of my last few (summer!!) months here. I guess it's not all that different from having multiple holiday parties to choose from except that my Christmas options this year are about 1000 kilometers apart (or twice as many miles!!) And I was recently reminded I DO have the option to head home if I want to. But I've entered a new realm of wanting to live it up for these last few months. I feel like I'm on the home stretch of this "character building" experience. Funny though, the other day it came up that no matter what one chooses to do with their life, or where they choose to be or who they choose to spend it with, happiness and peace will be determined by the peace and serenity in the heart.

I'm headed to the city for the gorgeous and dynamically beautiful Blue Mountains where the purple Jacaranda Trees are blooming and yellow wildflowers have sprouted up beside the railway in the gravel. There are fluttering white butterflies and clouds floating across the sky contrasting the rolling hills of green, green bush land  I have so many things begging for my attention as I sit here on this train, none of which require anything but me sitting and listening, reading, sorting, writing or planning. I'm feeling more and more disconnected from the electronic world. I love my ability to quickly connect with people I miss and love but I desire to spend more time in my Physical Now than caught in cyber-reality. I did some childcare for a nine year old the other day and the child actually had no idea how to spend time without electronic stimulation. I was seriously shocked that there was absolutely nothing in a room full of toys, a yard with a lawn, a pool and badminton net, a puppy and a park nearby to grab attention. It's terrifying really. What will the next generation of children be like as adults, with no sense of creativity, self-direction, curiosity or ability to hold conversation with a physical human being in front of them?!

Most recently, in spending time with my wonderful new friends at Common Ground Cafe, and in contrast, reading Half the Sky, I've been considering the nature of this world. There is so much anger, hatred, fear, depression and oppression in our cultures with no answer in sight. I've always believed the only road to peace is by treating one another with love (easier said than done), and being genuine, present and available for the people around us. We can only lead by example, it's the strongest proof of living peace. The struggle is we battle with out own needs and expectations which we get caught up on (whether or not we realize it) leaving us often times offended instead of compassionate towards each other. We pass our struggles onto the next generation and so on down the road. So I'm unsure how we reach a life of love on earth! Is this really IT or is there more of a purpose here? Are we just living on this planet to explore and enjoy it until out last breath? Or are we (as earth's most advanced creature) meant to restore this planet to it's original beauty? Because as far as I can tell, despite many of our hopeful efforts to be "green" and sustainable, we are destroying it.

I didn't mean for this blog to be quite so bleak, it's raining outside this train and I've been contemplating a LOT recently! I suppose the first step is to recognize the problem, and build from there. I am loving my experience here, challenges and all! I am enjoying listening to my shuffling iPod and the memories many of the songs provoke of home and loved ones. Music is wonderful like that. Another thing keeping my mind occupied is how wonderful my life has been. I have beautiful people who love me in MANY different places and I've been blessed with wonderful experiences. I feel so grateful for my amazingly full heart of memories triggering unending smiles and warm feelings. I've learned many things that make me feel good and I know how to be a good friend to myself and those around me. I have so many opportunities ahead of me! I guess I'm a bit in the Thanksgiving spirit, though I won't be celebrating it this year. The only other time I haven't celebrated such a beautiful holiday of family and deliciousness was when I was in Italy eight years ago! I don't need the holiday itself to feel this immense gratitude for life though.

There's a stunningly bright rainbow shining across the sky and it seems to be illuminated at the base! I have so many wonderful rainbow memories, one of my favorites being in Alameda, California. I guess perfection requires sunshine AND rain! And many mixes of grey to make it interesting. This world is filled with so many people, beautiful, creative, colorful and fascinatingly different. I feel encouraged to be one of them...whatever my purpose may be.

*Check back...pictures to come..