Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

So strange to think life at home will be basically the same even though I feel I've changed, grown and gained a new perspective on life. Everything I know is being challenged right now by the life I'm choosing to emerge myself in. Making decisions holds a new element and pulls me deeper into myself to listen for clearer answers. My desire to feel grounded and secure is battling my hope to make the most of my last few (summer!!) months here. I guess it's not all that different from having multiple holiday parties to choose from except that my Christmas options this year are about 1000 kilometers apart (or twice as many miles!!) And I was recently reminded I DO have the option to head home if I want to. But I've entered a new realm of wanting to live it up for these last few months. I feel like I'm on the home stretch of this "character building" experience. Funny though, the other day it came up that no matter what one chooses to do with their life, or where they choose to be or who they choose to spend it with, happiness and peace will be determined by the peace and serenity in the heart.

I'm headed to the city for the gorgeous and dynamically beautiful Blue Mountains where the purple Jacaranda Trees are blooming and yellow wildflowers have sprouted up beside the railway in the gravel. There are fluttering white butterflies and clouds floating across the sky contrasting the rolling hills of green, green bush land  I have so many things begging for my attention as I sit here on this train, none of which require anything but me sitting and listening, reading, sorting, writing or planning. I'm feeling more and more disconnected from the electronic world. I love my ability to quickly connect with people I miss and love but I desire to spend more time in my Physical Now than caught in cyber-reality. I did some childcare for a nine year old the other day and the child actually had no idea how to spend time without electronic stimulation. I was seriously shocked that there was absolutely nothing in a room full of toys, a yard with a lawn, a pool and badminton net, a puppy and a park nearby to grab attention. It's terrifying really. What will the next generation of children be like as adults, with no sense of creativity, self-direction, curiosity or ability to hold conversation with a physical human being in front of them?!

Most recently, in spending time with my wonderful new friends at Common Ground Cafe, and in contrast, reading Half the Sky, I've been considering the nature of this world. There is so much anger, hatred, fear, depression and oppression in our cultures with no answer in sight. I've always believed the only road to peace is by treating one another with love (easier said than done), and being genuine, present and available for the people around us. We can only lead by example, it's the strongest proof of living peace. The struggle is we battle with out own needs and expectations which we get caught up on (whether or not we realize it) leaving us often times offended instead of compassionate towards each other. We pass our struggles onto the next generation and so on down the road. So I'm unsure how we reach a life of love on earth! Is this really IT or is there more of a purpose here? Are we just living on this planet to explore and enjoy it until out last breath? Or are we (as earth's most advanced creature) meant to restore this planet to it's original beauty? Because as far as I can tell, despite many of our hopeful efforts to be "green" and sustainable, we are destroying it.

I didn't mean for this blog to be quite so bleak, it's raining outside this train and I've been contemplating a LOT recently! I suppose the first step is to recognize the problem, and build from there. I am loving my experience here, challenges and all! I am enjoying listening to my shuffling iPod and the memories many of the songs provoke of home and loved ones. Music is wonderful like that. Another thing keeping my mind occupied is how wonderful my life has been. I have beautiful people who love me in MANY different places and I've been blessed with wonderful experiences. I feel so grateful for my amazingly full heart of memories triggering unending smiles and warm feelings. I've learned many things that make me feel good and I know how to be a good friend to myself and those around me. I have so many opportunities ahead of me! I guess I'm a bit in the Thanksgiving spirit, though I won't be celebrating it this year. The only other time I haven't celebrated such a beautiful holiday of family and deliciousness was when I was in Italy eight years ago! I don't need the holiday itself to feel this immense gratitude for life though.

There's a stunningly bright rainbow shining across the sky and it seems to be illuminated at the base! I have so many wonderful rainbow memories, one of my favorites being in Alameda, California. I guess perfection requires sunshine AND rain! And many mixes of grey to make it interesting. This world is filled with so many people, beautiful, creative, colorful and fascinatingly different. I feel encouraged to be one of them...whatever my purpose may be.

*Check back...pictures to come..