Tuning IN and under!

After all the rushing and going-going-goings it feels so nice to have such a leisurely morning. I stayed up so so late last night distracting myself from the sadness I was feeling about saying goodbye to some of the people I am- was- am(?) closest with in Southern Oregon. I didn't really succeed in distraction but I did get sucked into a void of Facebook and tango. I found lots of opportunities to dance in the next two weeks and having chosen an option for almost every night made the time between now and my flight out seem so precious and invaluable and fleeting. The space I am kind of in now with wanting to be with Maren as much as possible and wanting to tango! :) reminds me of when I've had boyfriends who want to stay up really late but I get up for work early in the morning. It's tricky to balance but possible for some time. I think the key ingredient is *naps*. I could just get on Maren's nap schedule and then I'd be good to go!
As I was sitting here eating a breakfast concoction inspired by Samarra from our slumber party, (!!:D!!) and being addicted to my phone and communication with the world, (which maybe I'm holding on tighter to all my connections now because I'm not sure what's going to happen when I HAVE to let go..) I was trying to think of something else to do on my phone (though I have a list of things I NEED to get done :P) and I wondered if I should take advantage of leisurely mornings and blog then instead of attempting to blog during the exhaustion after a very full, exciting and busy day of travels and explorations of new things. I figured that at least for now it would be much easier in the mornings. If I get an 8 o clock day job in Aus then I might need to switch it around, but for now, I think it'll be better in the am.
I feel so incredibly relaxed and safe and happy here at Neen and Auntie K's with sweet Maren. I could live here! ;) I also appreciate the support and /gentle/ encouragement to keep takin care'a bizness since I'm so easily distracted and quick to engage in things that absorb me instead of things like: taxes, scanning documents, banking in Aus details, cell phone details, further consolidation of sTuFF :P ...the list goes on. As do the minutes of the day when I'm not doing them!
I sort of feel like I'm on a giant vacation. I mean, I still have responsibilities I know, but nothing immediate, no day job (yet) and no one to take care of other than myself. I guess the catch is, I need to take care of myself. The point of this trip is to tune into my needs and giving myself the attention to grow and learn and observe the world the way a mother would try to provide for her baby. ~As well as encouraging myself to accept responsibility for things and be more aware of everyone around me and how my choices effect them. And at the same time I don't want to slip into my *take care of everyone else and make sure everyone is okay* mode. I need to find the right balance so I am still focusing on me. That's what this time is for. I want to get more in my body. Tango is wonderland (< that was an autocorrect but I like it :) ANd it is wonderful for being in my body but I also want something to help me slow down and pay attention to what my body is feeling and needing ~ like yoga. And/meditation. I just haven't found the right discipline yet! I'm open to trying new things. Any ideas??
For now I'm tuning into the little details like the precious shape of sweet sleeping baby hands and appreciating the intricacies of each moment. I want to heighten my awareness of what's around me as well as my focus on the task at hand. Ultimately, I'm striving for more balance. Yesterday it was quite interesting having all my packs on AND my new shoes (which have a little rock to them) and feeling the effects of gravity. Dan was telling me some super interesting things about the center of an object (or persons) gravity and how it changes depending on what is being held-he talked about a tightrope walker and how the center of gravity actually exists below the person when they carry that big long bar (think of how a boomerang rotates around a center that isn't actually on the boomerang itself.) It is fascinating to me, though I'm not all that good at explaining it. I love learning about how the world works! Especially with people who are passionate about it (like my Tree Frog friends) not necessarily with a book :/
Okay. I'm going to do the dishes!
Ciao